I know I can get really mushy at times...and it may be that the Christmas season is bringing it out...but I have to tell you all how much I love you.
It seems so incredible that I have such a REAL support group in people that I've never met (for the most part). I received so many comments and email that encouraged, uplifted and supported me...that I can't do anything but humbly say Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am so much better yesterday and today that I don't even seem like the same person. Actually, I can barely identify with that whiner/complainer that posted here a couple days ago.
And you really, truly are a part of my healing. Thank you.
Create your life,
Oh! And just so you know...my house is clean(er).
Disclaimer...if you want to get to the good part...skip the first couple paragraphs. I'm lettin it all hang out.
In a good way. (Something broke).
Since returning from Florida, I've been in a deep dark depression. I've hidden it pretty well from everyone except for my husband and daughter, and have taken 'it' out on them with anger and impatience. You can imagine how those relationships are going. Our son left for Afghanistan. He and his wife are divorcing. I love her like my own. We thought we'd found a house that we could afford in St Pete but it didn't happen. (We're thinking of being snowbirds...only opposite). I have all kinds of insecurities about the workshop I taught...and whether or not it was worth the time of those that attended. I was sick with the Creeping Colombian Crud for almost two weeks. Still not well. Barranquilla is SO...not where I'd choose to live. But - here I am. I've been thinking seriously about moving back to the States. When I think about it to the extent I have been, my heart breaks with the thought of leaving Sophia.
I love her baby sister too...but that's another source of the depression. I've been guarding my heart a bit from falling head over heels in love with her in case we leave here. But that didn't work. I Am head over heels for her. We still don't speak Spanish. I don't go anywhere alone unless it's to my friends on Wednesday for our group meeting and I thank God for them. My hubby had a REAL problem this last year with living here until we went to Florida in October and he's come back with a better attitude after months of me preaching...."You can make yourself happy where-ever you are". After all, we can visit the States 2 or 3 times a year if we're careful with our money...which is what finally helped him. I think. Our new apartment is really great in so many ways but he lost his garage and my studio space is dark and hot and cramped. It makes me not want to go in there. I do NOT like house cleaning or cooking for that matter...so the house is dirty and I eat a lot of junk.
That about covers it.
THE GOOD PART...
Sophia spent Friday through Monday at our house...only going downstairs for a couple minutes twice a day for her medicine. The kids were leaving for Bogota - on the way to Indiana for a few weeks and she didn't want to leave my side. We were cuddling in my rocking chair and I happened to see the almost full moon.
I showed it to her and as always we spent a few minutes looking at the great big sky out my living room window.
She noticed that the moon wasn't completely round yet. I told her that when she got to Bogota it probably would be. I then told her I thought it would be fun if she looked out her window from there and I'd look out my window from here and even though we are so many miles apart...we would be looking at the same moon. Then I promptly forgot about it.
Well, my Sophia didn't forget. I received a call from her the next night...from Bogota. She said the curtains were all closed where she was and she couldn't look out the windows. Apparently, she needed someone to help her. She told me it was freezing there and that Mommy's feet were too cold for her to get up. Mommy didn't understand the importance.
Well after I told her that I could see the moon from the window and that it was indeed full and for her to look out the northeast window...she pestered Mommy until she received help.
We then had the most beautiful conversation about how it looked and the stars around it and the fact that there were fast moving clouds here but not there...and it (our phone conversation) was so absolutely beautiful that I can't put it into words.
I really, really DO have so much to be thankful for and that's where I'm going to live.
I'm on my way.
Create your life,
Mishka, of Quilting Gallery put out a call for quilts for those in need after Hurricane Sandy blew through up north. I'm not a traditional quilter...but figured the log cabin blocks would be easy enough for me and I certainly have enough fabric...so I made blocks which will be sent to another lady...who will put them together into a quilt and then send them on to the distribution center.
Mishka still needs quilts the last time I heard, so if you feel inclined...check out what you can do to help. I am traditionally pretty selfish about making things for charity - so this is not a request for you to do anything at all. But IF you want to help...go here.
On another note...last week...on Thanksgiving Day...we celebrated Sophia's 5th birthday!!!
The kids are going to be in Indiana until a few days before Christmas, so I plan to take some time to do a little soul searching.
|these above pix were taken from my seat at a nearby restaurant in Las Flores...on Rio Magdalena where you can get the BEST fresh fish EVER.|
While I'm missing them.
Much love to you and yours,
Create Your Life,
|Barranquilla - looking northeast from my living room window.|
I have more gifts that I'm going to post about?!?...
but I still haven't gotten pictures of them!
My camera batteries have decided all of a sudden...
not to hold a charge.
BOTH of them started acting up at the same time.
My last camera took regular AA batteries so it was pretty easy.
This one came highly recommended and I was on vacation...
not in the mood to shop...
when the old one died.
while I have been taking pictures here and there,
the Canon Battery Pack NB-5L
definitely isn't worth the $40 we paid for it.
We got an extra so I'd always have power.
for whatever reason,
I feel like having a bitch fest.
since I believe thoughts become things,
I'm going to concentrate on the good ones.
Let me tell you how much fun it is to practice free motion stitching instead.
Totally takes me out of a funky mood.
Create Your Life,