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1.27.2012

LOVE VS FEAR

Looking down the street from in front of my house.
I get a little intense in this post - which is about my belief system - and it being shaken up a little lot, so you might not want to read further.

Just sayin. 

out front - from my upstairs (playroom) window

I just wrote a page about some safety issues we're having here in our barrio, Los Nogales, in Barranquilla... and decided it was too negative to put into print - so I deleted it. It was doing me harm to think about it enough to put it into writing. So I rewrote. Still pretty negative.

The wall which surrounds our neighbor's house...taken from my play room window. (2nd story).

You see, I'm not a scaredy cat but a few things happened last week that had me wanting to run back to the USA...PRONTO. 

The wall which surrounds our neighbor's house...taken from my play room window. (2nd story).

Let me just say that people here sometimes become desperate enough to steal in order to eat...or maybe in order to party. 

I don't know. 

The wall which surrounds our neighbor's house...taken from my play room window. (2nd story).

They like to use guns and knives to get what they want. 

This is one of the good guys.

Now, I believe, that we get what we focus on. 

Taken at my daughter's maid's house. The maid's name is Eneida.

So even though these things are happening here, usually I can shrug it off and remind myself that...
I AM protected. I AM safe. I am secure. 



And my family and home are, of course, included. 


The view from my second floor back window.
I don't usually dwell on negative. 


Again...across from Eneida's (the maid's) house.
We use the bus system, I go out and walk the streets whenever and where ever I want to and we just live here. I feel free!


I'm usually with my hubby, but I go out often alone. 

Another view from one of my upstairs windows.

I like to look people in the eye and smile and say hello and appreciate them. 


Sometimes I even love them. 


I trust them and try to be compassionate and you know what? I get the same right back. 



Until last week when I saw an attempted robbery in front of my house and heard of another one - the guy got the goods this time - near my daughter's. 



I'm talking about the streets that we walk up and down to bring Sophia back and forth from house to school to house. 



Ugh. Sick feeling. 


And then...probably because I was allowing fear to CONTROL me...a couple nights ago, one of the 7...yes SEVEN locks that are on our front gates was broken. 

We do have a security man that walks the neighborhood at night.

If the perpetrator knew the next one was bigger and stronger he probably wouldn't have taken the time with the first. Who knows? 

In Eneida's neighborhood...you shop through the gate.

For the first time since we moved here...and this has happened before...only he got into the front yard last time and stole a motor...I wanted to move. NOW. LEAVE. Vamos! 
 
view from an upstairs window

Now you see why I deleted the first post. Sick feeling. Only the first description was more graphic. 

Our taxi driver was afraid to go further so he dropped the 5 of us off here to walk several blocks to Eneida's (Hillary's maid's) house.

I said all that to say this. I am safe. I am protected. I am secure. I am loved. 



And...I am so thankful that I can be near my granddaughter, daughter and her hubby. I am thrilled that we can afford to travel to the States a couple times a year because the cost of living is less here. 


I am so very grateful that we are here...learning a new language and culture...looking strangers in the eye...smiling...and sometimes loving them. 



I am happy and I will focus on all the treasure and gifts that are part of my awesome life and I will overcome fear when it rears it's ugly head. 



This is what I say I believe so I AM going to live it. 

I'll bloom where I'm planted.

I AM the one the world has been waiting for. Peace begins right here, with me. Right now. 

From an upstairs window.
I will love. Fear has no place here. 



I AM practicing love. 



This moment is the point of power. 



I am telling myself...and you...right now - that I am. 



I am.



27 comments:

  1. The world is a scary place no matter where you live, but it looks to me like your area calls for using your street smarts and being alert.
    And yes, if you intend to stay, then I think you have the right attitude. Those animals make me sad though.

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    1. It is an area where I need to be…and am alert but I hate the feeling of having to constantly ‘look over my shoulder’. It saddens me too…because the compassion kicks in and while we don’t have a lot compared to US standards, we do according to most – or at least many…that live in this city…and I’m sure that many of them don’t know or can’t find any other way to eat.

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  2. Good for you! Don’t let the fear win! And you ARE blooming where you’re planted! And blooming quite nicely may I add! :)

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    1. Thanks Robin. I'm not going to let it win. And really, thank you. :)

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  3. Oh boy, I'm guessing something so awful was happening near your home you can't really bring yourself to put it into words,(I think we can all work it out though), that makes it too near for comfort sometimes, but hey things happen. Look at you now, you are okay, strong, and so are your family regardless of what a few 'yes I would say A FEW' ruthless types do around your neighbourhood. And anyway you still have all of us to talk to.....ybf ann.

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    1. It was difficult to write about but I think I feel better now...having gotten it 'out'. And with all of my supportive, dear online friends and those that I've come face to face with...how can I not feel better and...stand strong.

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  4. I guess you are a stronger person than I am, because I don't think I could live there. I lived in the Cayman Islands for 21 years, but it was a safe and wonderful place (back then). Now, it's nowhere what you describe, but it's not the sleepy little island it was when I lived there and I honestly couldn't live there today. I pray that angels surround you and yours for protection always.

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    1. I don't think I'm stronger Geri. Sophia is a huge part of what motivates me and I really think I'd be miserable if I didn't get to see her often. Thanks soooo much for the prayer. I accept and receive it and as I've said...I AM protected.

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  5. What a difficult space to be in. Needing to be near your family. Wanting to keep everyone safe. Feeling compassion for those who interfere with both. I think you have the right attitude to find your way through it. But please do be careful.

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    1. Thank you MommaSpud! I sometimes shake uncontrollably when I think about being careful...but I am being!

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  6. I hope you and your family stay safe. I'm just finding your blog for the first time. Love your art piece, and photos. <3

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    1. Thanks Miz Katie! I appreciate the support and encouragement!

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  7. I can't say "I understand" because I've never lived in a place like that...but I love your attitude! I will say it with you, "you are safe...you are protected...you are secure...you are loved." Bless you and your family.
    Cindy

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    1. Wow Cindy. Thank you so much. You can't imagine how your words are making me feel right now.

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    2. Stronger is the word that comes to mind.

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  8. Annie, get the hell out of there! And bring your daughter, granddaughter and son-in-law with you. The cost of living may be less, but your lives are worth more than that. Living that way is not freedom, either physically OR in your mind. I'm praying for your safety.

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    1. You know...that was my first reaction. Today, I'm happy, my mind is calm and I KNOW I am safe. Me and my family. Thank you for your concern and prayers. I know you're coming from a perspective of wanting the best for us. <3

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  9. living IS a dangerous, risk taking business. being dead is safe.
    we have our share of theft robbery and murder here too.unless you live in a fenced complex with patrol guards those things are bound to happen. and even in fenced compounds neighbors can derail due to stress and whatevers.

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    1. Thanks Neki. It can be for sure. But no matter where we are...I still think the answer is peace. So...I'm working on living in peace...first of all with my hubby, children and anyone else who enters my sphere of influence.

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  10. Gosh Annie! What an eye opener this post is for me! I have never lived anywhere else than Las Vegas. Moving to Seattle in the spring is exciting but a little scary for me, but nothing like the challenge it must be to live where you do. I think it must be exciting to learn about a different culture, and new language...I might never have that experience. Terrible things can happen anywhere, and I pray that you and your family are safe.

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    1. Thanks for your comment Becca. :) I lived in Turkey as a child...and remember my parents talking about "things" but now that we're in Colombia...it's a eye opener for me too. The people of Barranquilla...of Colombia...are a very kind, loving, happy bunch and just like anywhere...like you say...terrible things can happen.

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  11. Wow, I am so in awe of your strength. I don't think I could go a day in your shoes. My sister is in Afghanistan right now & I worry about her safety so much. I pray for her daily. I am praying for you as I write this; for safety, protection, security, and love. Thanks for stopping by my blog & leaving sweet comments. Thank you for sharing your life & making me appreciate mine more. Take care...
    Blessings,
    Cindy

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    1. Thanks so much Cindy. I’m really doing great and believe it’s gonna stay thataway! I appreciate the prayers so much and know that it’s part of why I’m at peace. I’ll keep your sister in my prayers too. My son has been deployed twice so I know how that feels. But he is thriving in the Army as we are in Colombia!

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  12. You rock! And that's all I really have to say to all of this.Okay, one more thing: To not choose fear takes courage and you seem to have plenty of that.

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  13. Aw Caatje! Thank you so much! I don't know what to say ... except thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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Yuckola. More than half of my email has been from anonymous, so.....